Community isn’t built on scorecards. It’s built on showing up. My take is simple: give without keeping tabs, and you’ll create a network that lasts.
I’ve seen the stop-and-go nature of careers. Some seasons lift you up. Others humble you. The people who win over time are the ones who stick around for each other.
The Long Game Beats the Short Trade
Many people chase quick wins. They offer help only if they can get a favor right back. That mindset might land a meeting or two. It doesn’t build trust. Real community is created by consistent generosity, not transactions.
“It’s a lot of years of showing up for people without expectations of something in return.” — Erik Huberman
That’s not a slogan. It’s how I operate. You give advice when you can. You make introductions without a pitch attached. You check in when there’s nothing to gain. Over time, people remember who stood by them.
“We’ve all been at the bottom. We’ve all come up. Some of us go back down. Some of us come back up.”
That cycle is real, especially in places like Hollywood, where momentum shifts fast. If you only show up for the peaks, you lose the right to be there for the next rise.
Why Transactions Fail
Transactional thinking confuses activity with loyalty. It can create a burst of activity, but it also creates doubt. People sense strings. They hold back. The relationship never deepens.
Yes, a transactional approach can work in the short term. You might land a deal. But the cost is high. You burn trust for speed. The short game trades tomorrow’s opportunity for today’s hit.
What Actually Works
There’s a simple playbook I use to build community that stands up through the ups and downs.
- Show up consistently, especially when there’s nothing in it for you.
- Don’t keep score; help because it’s the right move.
- Celebrate wins publicly and support losses privately.
- Offer introductions with no hidden pitch.
- Stay steady during career dips and transitions.
These behaviors compound. They turn contacts into allies. They turn allies into friends. And they turn friends into long-term partners.
Evidence From the Trenches
I’ve built companies and grown brands through many cycles. The throughline is the same: relationships deliver the best returns. When you stand up for people, they stand up for you. Not every time. Not on your schedule. But in the moments that matter.
“If you’re just there for each other, you get to be there in the long games.”
That’s the point. The long game rewards patience. You may not see an immediate result. Then one day, a door opens because someone remembers how you showed up when it was hard.
A Brief Word on Boundaries
Giving without expectations doesn’t mean being naive. Carry clear limits. Say yes to what aligns with your values and time. Say no when it doesn’t. Generosity works best with guardrails.
The Bottom Line
Choose generosity over transactions. Build the kind of community that can weather a rough quarter, a tough launch, or a career reset. That’s how you stay in the game.
Want a next step? Pick one person this week and show up with no ask. Offer help. Share a thoughtful intro. Check in during a quiet moment. Do that for years, not weeks. The return shows up when you need it most.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do I start building community if I’m new?
Begin by offering help in small ways. Share advice, make one intro a week, and follow up. Consistency matters more than size or status.
Q: How do I avoid being taken advantage of?
Set clear boundaries. Say yes to aligned asks and no to misaligned ones. Generosity works best when paired with honest limits and time priorities.
Q: What if everyone around me is transactional?
Stand out by doing the opposite. Be steady, helpful, and transparent. People who value trust will find you, and those are your people.
Q: How can I measure progress without keeping score?
Look for signals of trust: unsolicited referrals, repeat collaborations, and honest feedback. These show real momentum more than quick favors.
Q: What should I do during my own down cycle?
Ask for help without shame, and keep helping others. Staying present during dips deepens relationships and sets up the next rise.
